3000 words about the Peloponnesian War
–Bev Vincent
Now there’s a subject guaranteed to send most of my potential readers fleeing for the hills, warding off flashbacks of grade school history essays.
This month, I want to write about my perception of my evolution as a writer. I had lunch last week with a guy who works across the street from my office who is also a writer. He’s just starting out—recently submitted a story for the first time—so he wanted to pick my brain and bounce some ideas off me. As I waxed philosophical on the subject of writing, certain ideas formed in my mind in a way that I hadn’t thought about them before.
When I started writing six or seven years ago (after a long hiatus), my mind was awash with ideas. Some turned into plots, but the results weren’t stories in the same way that I think about stories these days. They were simply plots. Maybe clever ones, maybe not, but readers probably came away from them without learning anything about the characters being propelled along by the plot. And that’s just what they were: puppets awash in a sea of plot, no more involved in their destiny than someone aboard a rubber raft being tossed about on a raging river.
Occasionally, when inspiration failed—or ideas failed to convert into stories—I’d go trolling through the submission guidelines reported by places like Hellnotes, Gila Queen and ralan.com. I focused on themed anthologies, because I wasn’t looking for a market for stories—I was looking for stories for a market.
I regarded these guidelines as writing challenges. Homework. Write 4000 words about a crime that takes place aboard a space station. Up to 6000 words set in a bookstore. Concoct a story using the unlikely pairing of cockroaches and vampires, or one featuring absinthe.
Sometimes nothing happened in response to my literary homework, and that was okay. I didn’t write about bloodsucking cockroaches or psychotropic liquor. (The stupid phrase “absinthe makes the heart grow fonder” kept popping up in my head. I probably wasn’t alone in this.) But often something did happen, and I’d end up with a story. As I wrote, I’d periodically click on the “word count” tool, a process that reminded me of tapping my pencil tip on every single word on a sheet of foolscap to see if I’d met the requisite length.
I used these “assignments” to hone my skills. At the end of the submission period, I’d turn in my work and have it graded. Often, the course was simply pass/fail, but sometimes I’d get my paper back with some helpful markings on it, or occasionally the teacher would ask for a resubmit after revision. Sometimes the work was deemed good enough to hang on the bulleting board with a silver star next to it.
A few of those early stories were essentially given away. Published in places where no one read them and little or no compensation changed hands. Just as well. While they might have been well written from a grammatical/style perspective, they were sorely lacking in characterization. I recently renovated one of those early efforts and ended up with a story that is 25% longer and ten times better simply because I figured out who the protagonist was and what his experience meant to him, and why. The linear plot is essentially unaltered, but the story grew a heart along the way.
As I was talking to my new acquaintance, I struggled to put this into words. He had a sheet of paper with dozens of brief story synopses. He would read one out loud and ask if the idea sounded good to me. By way of response, I asked him: What is your intent in telling this story? Is the technology, futuristic vision or ideology what you are trying to convey, or are you interested in showing how the things in your 30-word plot affect the protagonist? Could you substitute the science/dogma with something else and end up with essentially the same tale, or is that integral to what you want to accomplish?
I still get writing assignments these days in the form of invitations to contribute to an anthology. Because I’m congenial and easily flattered, I usually agree. However, these days, when I am delivered with a notion for a story, my first thought isn’t about the space station or the bookstore or even the hallucinogenic booze. I start with the person or people I want to write about. Figure out who they are, what they want, and what their issues are. Once I understand that, I deliver them to the situation required by the anthology theme and see how they react. I no longer want to write stories where the main character could be substituted with someone completely different and the story would essentially remain unchanged.
Sometimes that gets me in trouble, because I occasionally end up writing a story in a different genre than what’s expected for the book—or in no discernable genre whatsoever. I have a short story in my drawer that I happen to think is an excellent character study that explores a fairly profound, universally accessible idea and examines how the character adjusts—or fails to adjust—with his new reality. I can’t for the life of me figure out what kind of story it is, though. On the surface, it seems to be near-future science fiction, but the truth is that the sci-fi element is merely a trapping. I could surgically remove it and replace it with something more contemporary and end up with much the same story.
Getting back to my new acquaintance. What I tried to express was that the blurb-ish ideas he was presenting me with didn’t tell me anything about the stories he had written about them. I could have taken those germs and written stories entirely different from what he had conceived. It’s all in the execution and the intent of the author. When he was telling me about scientists discovering sentient computers that work around errors in programming, he was excited by the technology while I was wondering what the scientists were thinking. Both approaches are valid, and half a dozen years ago I probably would have written about the technology. The scientists would have been two nameless, faceless guys in white coats mouthing words as they were swept away in the torrent of plot.
But my years of apprenticeship as a writer have taught me something. You can fascinate readers with plot, but if you really want to connect with them you need more. You can put all the reptiles you want on an aircraft, but unless there’s at least one person aboard that flight that you can get readers to connect with, all you have is, well, (expletive deleted) snakes on a (expletive deleted) plane.
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Comments
It may not deal with the Peloponnesian War but it is a very insightful installment. Storytelling without heart does not work for me either.
Your one line - Quote:
“I start with the person or people I want to write about. Figure out who they are, what they want, and what their issues are.” is pure gold. Stories that endure are populated by characters that the writer and reader have become emotionally invested in.
Loved your closing line - Quote:
“You can put all the reptiles you want on an aircraft, but unless there’s at least one person aboard that flight that you can get readers to connect with, all you have is, well, (expletive deleted) snakes on a (expletive deleted) plane.”
Great article!
“Puppets awash in a sea of plot.” I like that. That is the danger if your story is too concept-driven. Characters and their backgrounds and motivations rule, or should. Darn good piece.
As for the Peloponnesian War . . . the sports teams at my school are called Spartans. I make it a point to tell my students that the Spartans were military jocks trained to be that way by a state that subordinated individual rights and freedoms to the agenda of the state, and that the Spartans beat a people who were superior to them in every way (culturally, etc.) except when it came to military muscle. The Athenians definitely had more “character” but fewer jackboots and less firepower.
Hey Bev, cool story. You illustrate the maturation that takes place amongst good writers. By that I don’t mean craftsmen (or craftsperson, if you prefer) who simply write well, but instead, writers, who go beyond the mechanics of storytelling and into the emotion of the people involved in the story. In your story, here, today, I could feel that emotion. You, as character, showed how your writing moved from an exercise into avocation. And in the process, both you and the writing were changed. Great stuff.
Frank
Damn, I happen to be writing a novel just now about puppets! Hmmm. Acutally, I usually try to establish two novels when I began a book. The first is a people story that can exist independent of ideas, circumstances, events or gimmicks. The second, of course, is the latter, more or less, depending on the nature of the founding inspiration. If both books seem strong enough to be told on their own, then I try to interact them. Of course, the connective tissue is much more elaborate than that, and this is a generality that fails to address fine points. But you’ve nailed the primacy of characterization once again, Bev.
– Sully (Thomas Sullivan)
“Puppets awash in a sea of plot.”
that’s one for the Turkey City Lexicon
I hope i got the coding for the link right. I’m trying to learn to do it from memory.
Brilliant and insightful post, Bev. You not only uncover a lot about the writing process (and your growth over the years) but also about what it means to teach writing. It’s tricky…and hard to communicate the value in working with charactrer insight over plot gimmicks. I have a feeling that, if nothing else, you showed your friend across the street the maturity it takes to be a writer.
The notion that character issues drive a story and make it unique is so true. This is also what makes a NOVEL a satisfying experience from the writer’s and reader’s perspective. Due to length, story structure often overtakes characterization in shorts, but in novels, you’ve really got a lot of room to show us what lurks in the character’s closets. If you’re working on a novel now, more power to ya.
– Mike Arnzen
I liked this a lot…it’s rife with great quotes, and it mirrors how so many folks attack themed anthologies in the early analysis.
I don’t do it that way…but this has gotten me in trouble too. My first thought is…how can I write something I wanted to, or would have written anyway, and have it fit this theme…or…do I have something stuck in my head already that I have to write before it KILLS me that fits this in any way?
On a side note…all but one (and possibly all - I haven’t heard from one writer in a while) of the bloody cockroach stories has sold either to a professional rate market, or to a high-end literary market. You should have joined in…
I tried very hard to instill in contributors to that market what I thought was important…that a theme for an anthology was just that…a starting point for the imagination. The last thing I wanted was a bunch of stories carved straight out of a few sentences in my guidelines…and I was pleasantly surprised by the breadth and depth of the talent that was drawn forth, even by such a silly premise..
cockroaches awash in a sea of plot…
DNW
Dave said: “…My first thought is…how can I write something I wanted to, or would have written anyway, and have it fit this theme…or…do I have something stuck in my head already that I have to write before it KILLS me that fits this in any way?”
That saysit for me, except to say that I enjoy the challenge of trying to hit the theme sideways. In like itn when the editor sighs, buys the story, and says, “Who else but you, Berliner, would have thought of this skewed approach.”
Janet





I like your piece a lot, Ben. It’s a superb contribution to learning the craft/art of writing. I have always thought that deadlines and similar restrictions can fuel the creative juices far better than many other motivators. Related to that, I believe that Eddie Murphy was much more creative and outright funny when he was/is restricted by the constraints of prime-time television versus a Las Vegas stage … not that there is anything wrong with a Vegas stage, nothing at all. Kudos.
Stan