Over the years, I’ve bumped into a few challenges when it came to the craft of writing. Dialogue was one of them. It’s not easy to find the right pace, rhythm, and flow of different characters participating in a conversation so they sound authentic. And from what I’ve read in the few novels I picked up over the last couple of weeks, other authors seem to have the same challenge. Below are a few dialogue issues that showed up in the books and caused my eyelids to tick…
Stilted
The dialogue didn’t ‘sound’ like natural speech.
Filler
The dialogue didn’t further the story nor deepen my understanding of the characters.
Exposition
The author used dialogue to explain the plot or repeat information for the benefit of the reader.
Naming
The author had one character use another character’s name to establish identity. (People almost never say another person’s name back to them, and if they do it’s a trait typical of a car salesman.)
Overuse of Modifiers
Too many dialogue modifiers, like shouted, exclaimed, cried, whispered, stammered, insinuated, and yelled. Yuk!
Now I don’t consider myself a master at dialogue by any stretch of the imagination, but over time, I’ve learned a few tricks that have helped me get better at it each time I write. Here are a few of them…
1. Write down some of the things you say over the course of a day, then examine your speech patterns. You’ll probably find that you say less than you think and that your statements are surprisingly short. You might also find that you rarely speak in complete sentences.
2. Find a crowded place, like a restaurant or a shopping mall and write down snippets of conversations you hear. Don’t worry about recording whole conversations. Just follow along for a brief exchange, then listen for another conversation.
3. Think of a question that will require at least a little thought, then ask it of several different people. Compare their responses. Focus on their words and write them down as soon as you can.
4. Record different TV shows, like sitcoms, talk shows, etc. Write down the dialogue and people’s names. If you don’t know the names, use a description, such as host or hunk in the blue shirt. Look for such things like greetings, descriptions of physical actions, complete sentences, slang, verbal ticks (Such as like, you know, uhhhh, well, etc.). Compare how these dialogue crutches change according to the show format and quality.
What tricks of the trade do you use to improve on dialogue?
12 Comments, Comment or Ping
Anonymous
On “Overuse of Modifiers”:
- I find that you do need to “spray” some modifiers when the dialogue runs too long, in order to break the ping-poing of the speakers and to help guide the readers who might be “deaf” to the hints on how the lines are being said.
What I usually do is hide the modifier in a way the actually advances or enlightens some parts of the story, like:
“Why don’t you just trust me?” I had never heard her raise her voice. She was shouting now.
Dec 18th, 2006
David Niall Wilson
I find that the good ol’ tried-and-true method of reading the book aloud works for me, particularly since I’m a good mimic of accents and different speech patterns. If I’m trying for a particular “feel,” it’s best that I dramatize it for myself. Otherwise I end up with works where a complaint has been that too many of the characters seem interchangeable, having the same patterns of speech…
What Luis said works after a fashion, as well, though better in first person, or straight third person where the description of what is going on in the mind of the character HEARING the dialogue or participating in it is an integral part of the pattern.
DNW
Dec 18th, 2006
Anonymous
These are some great suggestions — very practical! Thank you!
There’s some books/articles out there that take up dialogue writing, but one of the best I’ve read is David Morrell’s article “He Said?” She Asked: Some thoughts about Dialogue” in On Writing Horror, edited by Mort Castle.
Dec 18th, 2006
Frank Wydra
Yeah. I really like your suggestion about eavesdropping on other conversations in public places. And I agree with David, the best way to get the feel for dialogue is to read it out loud.
Another little trick I’ve used is to see how long I can go woithout using “he said, she said,” tags. If you’ve honed in on a voice for each of your characters you can dispense with the tags for a lengthy stream of conversation.
Lastly, people usually don’t give coherent, long-winded speeches. There tend to be interuptions and subject matter shifts in the course of the dialogue. And at times, people talk past each other, each focusing on a different subject matter. Inserting these shifts into dialogue make in more realistic.
Good stuff.
Frank
Dec 18th, 2006
Mark Rainey
Many good suggestions here. As I’ve written many times, blow the dialogue and the whole work is tainted. Kind of like cleaning a squid and busting the ink sac.
–M
Dec 18th, 2006
Janet Berliner
Go to any hotel/motel that has a bank of telephones.
Walk up and down, eavesdropping. Later, fill in the
unheard half of the conversation(s). –Janet
Dec 18th, 2006
Mari Adkins
What a wonderful idea, Janet!
Dec 18th, 2006
Sully
Terrific column, Deborah, and posts. I second (third?) the reading aloud ploy, adding that it makes it even more effective if you are actually reading it to someone in your presence or over the phone. Also, Frank’s observation about cross-directed conversation is one of those subtle techniques that few writers think of let alone use. And, like Luis, I sometimes embed modifiers in additional description. Sort of like subtraction by addition.
May I suggest that court transcripts are a revelation. Sound so phony, but of course they are literal. And finally, it must be said that audience sophistication factors in. I don’t like to acknowledge that, because I’ve seen too many instances where readers are under-estimated, but you do see changes in conventions over time and across demographics. I love old-time radio shows from before I was born. Some age very well, but others are howlers for camp and listener condescension. One show, I think it’s “Jack Anderson All-American Boy,” literally uses the name tag with every single switch in dialogue. E.g., “Well, Jack, did you see that?” “Yes, Bob, I sure did.” “What do you think it means, Jack?” “I don’t know, Bob.” Fittingly, the show opens with a series of voices that echo the name Jack Anderson.
– Sully (Thomas Sullivan)
Dec 18th, 2006
Janet Berliner
On reading your work aloud, it’s a must. Better yet, read
it into a tape recorder, then listen to it. –Janet
Dec 18th, 2006
Sully
Correction, however meaningless: The show I was trying to think of was “Jack ARMSTRONG, All-American Boy.”
– Sully
Dec 18th, 2006
cesarcarlos
These are very cool tips, Deborah.
I’ve had the chance of reading different advice/articles on the subject of dialogue. One of the top no-no’s is what you mention about “he exclaimed, he pronounced, he hollered”, etc.
One thing I usually do when I write dialogue is, I read it out loud and I listen to myself. Then I ask myself, how natural or forced does it feel? Can I imagine my character speaking in such a way?
I also try to rid as much of my dialogue as possible of interruptions (unless something happens, some character does something while speaking).
Cesar
Dec 18th, 2006
John B. Rosenman
A nice little power pack of suggestions, Deborah. I especially like the reminder that people in general don’t speak or talk in compound-complex sentences.
Dec 20th, 2006
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