Having been one of those writers, I am grateful to have gotten as far as I have, but I’m not satisfied. While a handful of editors from the larger publishing houses have expressed an interest in, and in a few cases, appreciation for my work, I’m still waiting for that big fat YES that will make my work available to a wider audience. I love the gorgeous Delirium edition of my novel, Broken Angel, and I still think Five Star, who published my novel, Feral, produces one of the best looking hard-covers I’ve ever seen, but the prices of limited editions, or even Five Star’s library bound hard-covers, makes them prohibitively expensive to all but the most avid of readers. Even friends and family tell me that they’d love to pick up copies of my books, just as soon as I get them released in affordable paperbacks.
Book signings are another headache altogether. It’s been more than two years since I’ve signed books at any of the local book stores, not because I don’t enjoy doing it, but because I can’t afford to do it. That last round of signings I set up comprised of three or four libraries, a good match, I thought, since the book, Feral, was published by a company whose primary nitch was supplying libraries with sturdy hard-covers, and a few bookstores. None of the libraries or bookstores were willing to buy copies, so I stretched myself to my financial limits by purchasing fifty copies of my own book. Soon after, all the libraries canceled, because Feral was horror, and they were afraid of offending the Christian ladies Reading Circle, or some such bullshit.
None of the bookstores were willing to promote my readings, so I went to the local paper to try and get something in the A&A section. No dice. I was informed that since they’d done a piece on me a few years before, just before Dragonfly was published, they could not do another one for a while, or all the other local artists and writers would feel I was getting too much attention. At this point, I was considering robbing a bank just for the bit of free publicity.
I only contacted one bookstore before Broken Angel came out, a specialty bookstore in Oregon that sells a lot of horror, fantasy, and science fiction. They informed me that they did plan on picking up copies of the book, because it is a Delirium title, but that since it was being issued signed, there was no point in me going there.
It seems the past few years, that the most used phrase in my vocabulary is Fuck It! Somehow, I don’t think this would be the case if I’d picked stamp collecting as a hobby.
If you are still reading this after 600 plus words of my pissing and moaning, then it is because you empathize. Very likely you are in the same boat as me, or still waiting on shore for your boat to show up. If you’ve come this far, then you know what I’m talking about. The next line is for you.
It is all worth it, every second, every word, every doubt, and every disappointment.
It is worth it when an editor finally does say yes. It is worth it whenever you type the words The End, and are pleased with what you’ve done. It is worth it when someone reads your work and likes it, maybe even loves it. It is worth it when (and this may only happen a few times in your life) someone you’ve never seen in your life recognizes you and says “You’re Brian Knight! The Brian Knight!” It’s worth it when you get an unexpected invitation to an event designed to bring writers and readers together, especially when a look at the guest list shows that you’re being tossed in the mix with some real professionals.
It is worth it. Never forget that.
Brian Knight
11 Comments, Comment or Ping
Mark Rainey
Your boat sounds an awful lot like my own, Brian. I can relate to all your points, especially about signings. We had an excellent community relations manager at the local Barnes & Noble who really promoted local writers, until she got shit-canned. When one of my books came out (in hardback) and I called to see if they were interested in a signing, the new CRM asked me if I could guarantee that they’d sell thirty copies. I said no, I’m not the bookseller; you tell me. She then politely expressed no interest whatsoever, and I really wish the old CRM was back.
–Mark
Oct 23rd, 2005
Brian
I feel your pain, Mark. We know we should build a local fan base, but when none of the bookstores are willing to let you in, it’s difficult.
Keep it up, buddy.
Brian
Oct 23rd, 2005
Janet Berliner
In 1974, I taught at SUNY. In those Days of the Dinosaur, pre P.O.D., there was a young man who had self-published–self-printed–a chapbook of his own poetry. He had stapled the pages together by hand, with loving care. Every day, he stood on campus, a wooden tray filled with his poetry strapped around his neck. I still have one of those chapbooks. No, I don’t know what he’s doing now, but I can tell you–he was happy then. –Janet
Oct 23rd, 2005
Terese Pampellonne
Hi Brian. Don’t you just wish publishing a book could be as sweet as in The Ghost and Mrs. Muir? Not only does the editor read your book in one sitting, it goes on to become such an all-time bestseller that you get to stroll a windswept beach while living off the royalties for the rest of your life.
It’s one of my favorite movies.
Terese
Oct 24th, 2005
jeff resnick
Very insightful post. Couple of questions, and since I’m totally new to the process, sorry if these are dumb and obvious, or don’t mean anything at all:
Do you have an agent? Does your agent pitch your novels to all the major houses with horror imprints? What about going through something like iUniverse or another large self-publishing house? Thanks…and don’t stop writing!!
Oct 24th, 2005
Brian
Janet, I’ll bet if he’s not still doing that, he wishes he was. Have you ever read the book?
Terese, that sounds like a nice movie
Hey Jeff. I don’t have an agent (I could have done another 1,000 words on that subject alone
Personaly, I would never go the subsidiary or self pub rout. As much as I want to see my work in print, I need someone between me and the reading public to say “This is good” or “This is crap - burn it!” That’s just me though.
Thanks all
Oct 24th, 2005
Janet Berliner
Self-publlishing is ONLY good if you’re doing non-fiction for a directed audience, e.g., if you lecture about bananas and give (or sell) your book at those lectures as learning and sales tools.
Yes, I read the poetry, It was . . . fiery and young.
He’s not young anymore, but I hope he’s still full of fire.
J.
Oct 25th, 2005
Brian
Right there with you, Janet. Hope the world didn’t take his fire from him.
Oct 25th, 2005
Steve Vernon
Amen to all of this. I’ve been swinging all year, trying to break into a larger press. I’ve got manuscripts all over the place, dangling. I envy your success, Brian, and yet I understand completely your frustration at being walled into the small press.
Fuck it. There’s always one more rung on the goddamn ladder. Never stop writing. I don’t plan to. Thanks for the good read.
Oct 26th, 2005
Brian
Raising a toast now, Steve. To bigger and better deals for both of us!
Brian
Oct 28th, 2005
Reply to “Is It Really Worth It?”