by Janet Berliner
Being multilingual has enriched my life. I had many languages left to learn when my hearing took flight, which saddens me greatly. While I could still learn a new one, I couldn’t do it my way. The easy way.
Language, to me, is music. You hear a new piece of music, with strange and wondrous chords and lyrics, and that’s what it is. A strange, new piece of music. If you listen to it many times and, without angst, let it wash over you, magic happens. You begin to anticipate the chords, to sing the lyrics, to move to the melody.
Language is no different. If you remove your angst and let it approach you, you will suddenly find yourself beginning to understand the meaning of what’s being said. Will you know every word? Doubtless not. But you’ll understand.
Which leads inexorably to the next step. You walk into a café, sit down, and find yourself greeting the waitperson in their language, ordering in their language.
It’s a trip, for them and for you, a neat way to segue into my brother, who is a tour guide in Israel. Well, right now he’s a medic on the front lines, but when he’s not that, he’s a tour guide. His training for that took five years at the University. He speaks nine languages. My mother spoke seven, fluently. I’m the dummy; I only speak five, and not all of them fluently. I wouldn’t try to write in any one of them except English. That’s tough enough for me. When I speak Dutch, for example, I speak like a kindergartner. But I can communicate. In Portugal, I had to point and wave. Did it work? Yes. Pretty much. But it’s not the same.
All of which leads to–well to a lot of things–but the first one is the issue of bilingualism here, in America.
Now here’s the thing. If everyone spoke English the way she should be spake, I’d be all for it. Heck, let’s have bi and tri and quadrilingualism (making those up as I go). Unfortunately, we all know ’tis not so. Not judging by the manuscripts I read on a daily basis for several agents. I
remember one particular author, nice lady, who sent me a manuscript in the early eighties, when I was agenting. The Romance genre had
recently started to blossom, and that’s what hers was. Straight line Romance, no diversions, no sub plots. Her use of language, however, made me cringe. The example I’ve never forgotten is: “She (her heroine) had to go back to square root one.”
I was pleasant to her, but sent her to someone I knew who handled only
Romances.
That “Someone” used the square-root one manuscript, as is, to obtain an eight-book contract. The nice lady has been selling her books within the genre since that time, and not simply one per year.
So what do I know?
Probably not much, but that doesn’t stop me having a strong opinion.
Maybe I’m being too rough, too blunt, too “mean,” but I don’t think so. If you’re trying to write and want to be published in English, the fact that you made a sale despite inferior use of language, doesn’t make it okay, and the fact that English is your second or third or fourth language is irrelevant.
But here’s the real problem. The BIG problem. Many of the readers at publishing houses, the ones who tell their bosses not to bother with our work, don’t have a frigging clue. Yes, some of them are Vassar grads, but others are coffee boys, unschooled and recently promoted. Not only that, don’t count too heavily on the likes of Vassar.
I recently took on a one-on-one editing/teaching job. The book we’re working on is a Civil War novel, the writer someone I taught more than twenty years ago. He’s an extremely bright and well-educated man. As someone educated in the “Colonies,” my focus upon the Americas was minimal (as was any American’s when it came to Africa). I knew next-to-nothing about the Civil War; Americans know as little about the Boer War.
My point?
I choose to learn as much as I can about as much as I can. Most other people (no, not you) don’t necessarily make that choice. I’m Jewish but chose to learn about many religions; I try to read translated books along with the originals (Mein Kampf was a case in point when writing MADAGASCAR MANIFESTO.)
Most people just plain don’t do that, nor do they care about speaking or writing correctly. They’re not taught to do it and they’ve never learned
to care.
Once upon a time, in the long ago and very far away, I was learning English at an all girls’ school called Micklefield. We wore pastel pink dresses. Any style would do, as long as it was pink. Navy blazers and panama hats topped things off. As part of our syllabus, we did a damn fine production of Macbeth. I was all of 8. I understudied Lady Macbeth but was cast as one of the witches. Fine type casting, if you ask me.
Thirty or so years later, my daughter was reading Romeo and Juliet in an advanced lit class at Jr. High in Cupertino, California–the very heart of Silicon Valley. She was required to write a paper and did so, without any help from me. It was definitely a solid A paper, but was given a C-. She
Was mighty upset. Not me. I was livid. I suggested she ask her teacher to explain why he had given her a C. She wouldn’t ask him, so for the first and only time in her schooldays, I marched myself into the classroom.
You’ll love his answer: “She answered the question from the play not from the movie. I showed them all the movie. She should have answered it from that.”
Resisting the urge to strike him dead, I asked: “Mr. Pimplehead. Have you actually read the play?”
“I don’t need to,” he said. “I’ve seen the movie.”
Yes, Friends, he was fired, but most of his clones are not. They’re right there, in the classrooms, teaching generation after generation how not to speak or write or understand the English language.
I have four grandchildren. One of them is reading, another is beginning to sound out words. I write little stories for them, but those won’t be their primary influence, nor will the fact that my daughters speak and write English well (one is a technical editor) and read a great deal. That’s all wonderful, but their greatest influences are bound to be their peers, their teachers, books and televisions.
Unless something changes dramatically in this society, I can only say, G-d help them all.
18 Comments, Comment or Ping
Stan
An incredibly fine essay, Janet, and I say this as a fellow word-lover and language-luster (Is one who lusts a “luster?”). And a Russian-speaker, who is grateful for the insights into English that Russian has given me.
But I will tell you. Some folks just do not care, and while I might get it wrong at times, at least I do care. And you surely do.
I have finally been able to let go and not worry myself ragged over folks whose priority simply isn’t writing well, or even passably. They just do not get it, and I will leave it at that.
These are folks for whom just any ol’ word will do. It’ll do, because the refined meanings of words, the richness of English is lost on them. Not because they are not capable. But because . . . well, you said it than I ever could.
Keep up the good fight. I’m squarely rooted with you right there on the ramparts.
– Stan
Jul 26th, 2006
Mari Adkins
I’ve seen the movie … Egad! I have no words!!
Jul 26th, 2006
Mark Rainey
She wrote her paper from the play, not the movie.
Now -I’m- livid.
What an essay, Janet…
–M
Jul 26th, 2006
Sully
I have the words, but not the wrists today (carpal tunnel, says so), Janet, so permit me a mere “Amen” to your sentiments and dismay. I believe in the living, evolving language, but not in evermore limited mutations.
– Sully (Thomas Sullivan)
Jul 26th, 2006
Elizabeth Massie
Thanks for this, Janet. I shake my head and groan with the rest of us who care about language. I honestly have no idea of how to make it better…language constantly evolves, I know that, but this is more of a decomposing. As to learning other languages, I am like a person who loves music but can’t learn to sing or compose. I think I have a fair grasp on English, but have no talent for learning another. Could be that it was never introduced at an earlier age, or I haven’t had (or taken) the opportunity to be immersed. I have learned enough sign language to get by if need be, though that’s more of a dance than a song.
Beth
Jul 26th, 2006
Teresa
I could weep right here and now…this crisis is everywhere. Kid’s haven’t a clue how to put their thoughts on paper, and the teachers have no idea how to teach them to do so. I sure hope your daughter had the grade on her paper adjusted acordingly.
your grandchildren are so fortunate to have you in their lives to compensate for what they won’t get in the classroom.
Jul 26th, 2006
Phoenix
“Resisting the urge to strike him dead, I asked: “Mr. Pimplehead. Have you actually read the play?”
‘I don’t need to,” he said. “I’ve seen the movie.’”
Your comment is beautiful and his is extremely depressing.
I’ve actually found that I understand English better after having studied German for several years. I love languages though I have never studied anything but English and German.
I have problems just speaking to my sister, on line especially with her use of “netspeak,” and she’s only seven years younger than I am. It is kind of depressing.
Thank you for your essay, thought it’s sad that it is so true.
Julie
Jul 26th, 2006
Frank Wydra
I have but one language, and at times, I am not sure I even have it. How I envy your five.
For years I was in the business of hiring top level executives, educated people, Master’s prepared, and the test that doomed most of them to my breadline was the short essay I asked them to write. They could not do it. A good sentence was rare, a coherent paragraph an oddity. And these were people who would lead, issue orders, craft policy. Fat chance.
And now it is worse. Recent statistics show that the least talented students, as measured by the SAT, tend to choose Education as a major. Of those, the bottom quartile teach English. I am sure that Mr. Pimplehead was first among peers.
Regrets,
Frank
Jul 26th, 2006
John B. Rosenman
A fine essay, Janet. I see this every day in the college classroom. They do not care to write well. They do not care. And many teachers don’t care to teach them to write well or can’t write well themselves. Often they don’t read the students’ essays or if they do, they don’t mark them up. And mark them up they must, and in intelligent fashion. To write well you must revise, and revise, and revise.
The only other language I have some significant knowledge of is French. I’m still struggling with English. A second language should be required early, perhaps in the second or third grade. I’d say that language and intelligence are what separates us from animals except that it’s become more and more established that some animals can reason and possess language skills. A smart chimpanzee, for example, is actually superior to a second term congressman.
As for that teacher who didn’t need to read the play because he’d seen the movie . . . words fail me.
But you know, the bottom line is that society doesn’t really value writing and language skills.
Computer technology, IMHO, actually contributes to students’ poor language skills. That’s a whole essay in itself. I wish I could share some of the letters I get from students in my e-mail. There was a time when we not only wrote letters on paper but practiced penmanship as well.
Jul 26th, 2006
David Niall Wilson
There was a play???
(heh)
I certainly hear ya, Janet…as you know. We suffer in silence. I learn languages easily and mimic accents well..I speak Spanish pretty well, some French, and English passably…
I hate seeing the poor old Queen’s E butchered in print, or hearing it butchered in person - though I’ll mimic, point, and laugh when I do hear it.
Like Stan said…you have to let it go…they will never get it because they don’t even comprehend that there is an it to get, if you know what I mean…they just grin at you, or say…huh?
DNW
Jul 26th, 2006
Janet Berliner
Thanks for your comments. They are much appreciated.
As a postcript to what I wrote, today a friend of mine received an email from his thirty-six year old PhD son. I could barely understand a word of it. Was it in cyberspeak? E-speak? No. I’m told it was in rapspeak.
Worse yet, this young man calls himself an educator.
We are in deep doodoo.
Janet
Jul 26th, 2006
Phoenix
“There was a time when we not only wrote letters on paper but practiced penmanship as well.”
Is chagrined *blushes*. I can’t comment on penmanship. Mine’s terrible. I could blame it on a wrist injury, in fact I will because I quite honestly used to write a little better than I do now. But still…
I’ve always admired people with good penmanship, but for some reason was never able to achieve it myself..
I have a theory as to why more highly educated people don’t teach. We don’t pay teachers enough. I think if they got the pay their importance to our future as a civilization might suggest that they should recieve our school systems would be better off. But that’s a whole different rant.
Julie
Jul 27th, 2006
Elizabeth Massie
I agree with you about teachers, Julie, having been one in my “past life.” (I taught for 19 years before jumping full time into writing.) But yes, a whole other rant.
Beth
Jul 27th, 2006
David Niall Wilson
I should give Beth the “why in hell aren’t you coming to Fanta-Sci to see Mark and I” rant…speaking of rants…
D
Jul 27th, 2006
Mark Rainey
That would be “Mark and -me-.”
–M
Jul 27th, 2006
Charlie
I’ve always admired people with good penmanship, but for some reason was never able to achieve it myself.
A teacher once blamed my poor handwriting on not being able to write fast enough. I think it’s because I’d rather concentrate on what I’m writing, not how. But I fully agree, that neat penmanship makes me green with envy.
Having just finished full-time education I can clearly remember all my Engish teachers tell us *not* to write about the films. This was especially important since one of our plays was Middleton’s ‘The Changeling’. I pity anyone who has seen the film version, even more so if they paid to do it.
Charlie
Jul 27th, 2006
Janet Berliner
I actually started to do an essay about penpals–a lost art. At school, we were required to have at least one penpal. As an adult, there was a time I corresponded with something like sixty people. It was fun and a whole lot more personal than emails. I get handwritten letters from several people who don’t “do” computers. I am a dinosaur. –Janet
Jul 27th, 2006
Elizabeth Massie
I used to have tons of penpals, up through my high school years. It was so much fun and we corresponded frequently.
Mark and Dave…I’d love to be at FantaSci, but get this. I’m babysitting. Take photos, okay?
Beth
Jul 28th, 2006
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