I once met a best-selling author who admitted he hated writing. He claimed the process frustrated him, stressed him out, and the competition to stay on top was ruthless and much more than he’d bargained for. Strangely enough, he made this claim before a large group of aspiring authors. I wondered then how anyone with his notoriety could make such a statement. And why does he continue to write if he hates it so much?
Granted, there are many authors who have a love/hate relationship with the writing process and everything associated with it. I’m one of them.
Here are a few examples of my love/hates in no specific order…
–I love when a new story and its characters come to life.
–I hate when the right words refuse to materialize.
–I love the sense of satisfaction that comes from typing, “The End,” after the perfect last
sentence on page four hundred-whatever.
–I hate when there appears to be no perfect last sentence.
–I love the thrill of anticipation. What will that character do next?
–I hate the sleepless nights that come from uncertainty. What should that character do next?
–I love opening that box of author copies and holding my books for the first time.
–I hate when my books sit spine out on the very bottom shelf of an obscure aisle in a
bookstore.
–I love writing whatever story strikes me.
–I hate genre labels.
–I love doing book signings and meeting new people.
–I hate doing book signings when I’m forced to sit at a table in the back of the store near the
gardening section.
–I love reading and telling stories.
–I hate when people attempt to negate my love for the written word simply because I don’t
read the same works and authors they do.
–I love celebrating the successes of my author friends.
–I hate when jealous authors neutralize even the smallest successes of their peers.
–I love the solitude that comes with writing.
–I hate the loneliness that is the companion to doubt.
I figure as long as I keep the love/hates balanced, everything should work out fine.
Now that I think about it, maybe that’s what happened to Mr. Best-seller, his love/hate scale tipped too far to the right, and he couldn’t push it back toward balance. If that’s true, if he indeed has far more hate than love for the process, why doesn’t he let it go and move on? Would you? Or would you continue to struggle day after day, year after year, having no pleasure in the process whatsoever, but hoping something might change? I don’t know if I could pull off that kind of struggle. Why would I want to? Who would I be fooling? No one but myself. For writing is like being married–if there’s more hate than love in the relationship, no matter how well you fake happy in public, sooner or later it’ll be seen for what it is—bad.
12 Comments, Comment or Ping
David Niall Wilson
There is no accounting for attitude, Deborah. I was on a panel once at a convention. The panel was about writing in other people’s universes. I was on that panel with Larry Niven, and he and I ended up in a pretty heated discussion. For one thing, his main input was that writing in someone else’s universe would kill our career. My immediate response that he’d just finished a SPIDERMAN BOOK didn’t sit well (lol). It’s true that sometimes you get to a point where the negatives involved in a thing make it unhealthy to go on…
But I’m not sure that as a writer I fully have that choice. I could back out of the publishing scene, never attend another convention, or post on a bulletin board, but I’d still write…it’s just part of me, something I do. I had a bad personal period in my life a few years back, and it killed my words. That nearly killed me…so I know better than to bottle them up now.
Like Brandt, the guitarist in my novel Deep Blue who feels the pain of the world building inside him and has to play it out through the blues….writing gets it out of ME…
I hate it when that fails to happen…
DNW
Jan 18th, 2006
Janet Berliner
Yes. Fair and balanced is what it’s all about. Then again, I’m a Libra. Enjoyed your post. –Janet
Jan 18th, 2006
Mari Adkins
I hate it when my characters won’t shut up and let me sleep!!! :shakes fist:
Jan 18th, 2006
Mari Adkins
David ~
but I’d still write…it’s just part of me, something I do. I second that, wholeheartedly.
had a bad personal period in my life a few years back, and it killed my words. That nearly killed me…so I know better than to bottle them up now. I’ve been there, too. It’s not pretty. Writing helps me keep a semblance of sanity.
writing gets it out of ME… That’s exactly it!!
Jan 18th, 2006
John Skipp
Dear Deb — HI! I really, really liked this one.
As a guy who sincerely enjoys the writing process, I’m always amazed by professional writers for whom actual writing is some TERRIBLE ORDEAL.
I always think, “Well, why DO it, then? Why not find some way to let it out of your system that you actually ENJOY, instead of torturing yourself?”
When writing fiction became torturous to me, I just stopped writing fiction. I wrote music. I worked on films. I made goofy art out of fast food packaging.
When I felt like writing it again, I STARTED WRITING IT AGAIN!
It seems so simple. Cuz — well — cuz it IS!
Thanks, Deb! You laid out the balancing act, beautifully. That was truly a pleasure to read.
Jan 18th, 2006
Deborah LeBlanc
David, I totally agree that there’s no accounting for attitude. I liken the experience with the b/s author to a billionaire whining in front of a group of indigents about having too much money. arggg!
Thanks, Janet. I love Libras! The ones I know have this uncanny ability to bring order and balance to chaos. What a great gift.
Oh, Mari, I agree. Let me sleep already! lol
Hey, John! Thanks so much for your kind words.
What you said makes so much sense. If writing fiction gets torturous, do something else for a while. You’re fortunate to have the ability to write music, work on films, and even make goofy art out of food packaging! I don’t have those talents. When I have to break away from fiction for a while, the closest I get to any other art form is seeing how big a pile I can create with the manure I shovel from my horses’ stalls. 
Jan 18th, 2006
Virginia
I feel that ‘hated’ and ‘torturous’ can easily be confused. I have talked to published writers who find it ‘hard’ to write. I find I can be the same way quite often. I have an online thesaurus bookmarked for quick access as I can be stalled by mentally searching for just that right word. Some may tell me this is not a good thing, but it’s currently my method, and hopefully gets smoother as time goes on. Being able to drop everyday’s life’s stresses to immerse one’s self in writing is a blessing, and not everyone has the luxury. Actually hating the process is just quite sad. *wink*
Now the art of writing, and the act of being a writer (promotion, contracts, blah blah) are two totally different things, and quite often the second is a shock to newly published authors. If ’staying on top’ is goal for this poor anguished unnamed author, hopefully he can reevaluate his goals to lead a more fulfilling lifestyle.
*trips off soapbox*
Thanks for the post. It’s nice to sit back and put it into perspective for ourselves.
Jan 18th, 2006
Steven Savile
Great post Deb, from one of life’s jugglers to another…
Jan 19th, 2006
Mark Rainey
Deborah — you captured the essence of the balance quite well. There are days, and then there are…days. And Virginia, that’s an important distinction — the difference between something “hated” and something “torturous.” The last word often applies to what I’m doing. The former, never.
Well, not till I go back and read what I’ve written later on.
–Mark
Jan 19th, 2006
Eldritch00
Good food for thought over here, both in Deborah’s essay and the comments as well.
The writing process is indeed difficult for some (like me!), but I guess persisting in the craft may sometimes have to do with this quote that I came across once but could no longer remember who said it (or what the exact words are, which makes it impossible to Google): “I dislike writing, but I like having written.” If anyone can clear that up for me, I’d be quite pleased.
Anyway, like I was saying, this is good food for thought. Strangely, two of the writers I admire the most, Caitlin R. Kiernan and Thomas Ligotti, often talk about writing as an ordeal. But reading between the lines in her blog entries and his interviews reveals that there is indeed a value they derive from it, and any “dislike” of the process itself is merely one tiny part of the equation.
Anyway, thanks again!
Jan 19th, 2006
Deborah LeBlanc
Virginia, thanks for commenting. I’ve yet to meet a writer, no matter the level of success, who’s able to put life’s stressors aside and immerse themselves in writing. I think for many writing is what pushes life’s stressors aside.
Hey, Steven, thanks.
You’ve got that right about the juggling, brother!
Loved your comment, Mark.
You’re so right…there are days, then there are DAYS!
Thanks, Eldrich.
I actually googled the quote you referred to but found nothing…ask jeeves didn’t call it up either… 
Jan 19th, 2006
Janet Berliner
Ask Jeeves calls up all manner of things, Deb. –J.
Jan 21st, 2006
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