Storytellersunplugged

Frank T. Wydra

Mary, always the most effervescent of those around the table, clapped her hands at the sight of the newcomers. “Chucky, how delightful! You’re just the person we need for this discussion.”

The bearded Chuck Dickens, swept off his beaver hat and made a gracious bow. “My dear Miss Shelly, the delight is all mine.” Rising, he said, “And I have brought Eric with me.”

There, in the flesh, was Eric Blair, known to most as George Orwell, an irregular visitor to the Gonquin Table. Eric raised a hand to all and took a seat next to me. Edgar, and Bram lifted a glass to the newcomers, and Papa, most likely in consideration of Eric’s consumption, extinguished his omnipresent cigar.

Al, the Gonquin’s owner, said, “All due respects to the rest of the gang, here, if anyone knows how to name characters, it’s Chuck Dickens. What can I get you boys?”

“Lord bless you!” said Chuck, “a man must take the fat with the lean; that’s what he must make up his mind to, in this life.” Clearly, he thought well of himself.

“Al’s quite correct,” Mary said. “What we were talking about as you arrived was the importance of finding the right name for a character, one that personifies his or her essence. You, with characters named Scrooge, the Artful Dodger, Pip, and Mr. Bumble, exemplify the successful writer in this regard.”

Papa said, “Not to mention Cratchet, Oliver Twist, or Tiny Tim.”

“Well,” said Edgar, “we are now in the middle of it. For my money a solid plot is more important than picking pretty names.”

Eric, drink in hand, raised it to Edgar and said, “It heartens me to hear a man speak his mind. If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.”

This, of course, brought a grin to Edgar’s face for he was usually the lonely curmudgeon opposing the rest of us.

Bram said, “Certainly a good plot is needed. But, given that, names count. If Huckleberry Finn were Humphrey Ford, would he be a rapscallion? If Hannibal Lecter were Harry Luce, would the fright be the same? If Sam Spade were Sylvester Sapp would he be as dark? Not for my money. It is the diligence, the creativity of the writer finding the right name that cements the character in the reader’s mind.”

Eric coughed, and said, “Sometimes the first duty of intelligent men is the restatement of the obvious. Some, like me, try to hide their identity with a pseudonym, so why would we do less in our stories?”

Chuck said, “You, my friend, are too serious. Take another glass of wine, and excuse my mentioning that society as a body does not expect one to be so strictly conscientious in emptying one’s glass, as to turn it bottom upwards with the rim on one’s nose.”

Eric shot back, “To see what is in front of one’s nose needs a constant struggle. In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.”

Chuck’s palm slapped the table. “Talk, talk, talk. NOW, what I want is, Facts. Teach these boys and girls nothing but Facts. Facts alone are wanted in life. Plant nothing else, and root out everything else. You can only form the minds of reasoning animals upon Facts: nothing else will ever be of any service to them. This is the principle on which I bring up my own children, and this is the principle on which we must discuss this issue.”

Al, alerted by the sound of hand on wood, hurried to the table. “Sounds like someone ordered another round.”

Chuck, sheepish at his outburst, twirled a finger acknowledging the drinks were on him. Given his royalties, no one objected.

Mary, ever the peacemaker, said, “Well, then, let’s look at some facts. This last year two authors topped the charts. Dan Brown with his DaVinci Code and Joanne Rowling with her Harry Potter books.

“Ah yes,” said Bram “Rowling takes great care in the naming process. Harry’s nemesis is Voldemort with its suggestion of volatile death. As sinister name as was ever coined. Draco Malfoy, Harry’s antagonist, combines hints of Dracula and maliciousness, and, of course, his father Lucien, could be a reincarnation of the devil, Lucifer. Add to them other dark characters dubbed Severus Snape, Slytherin Salazar, Delores Umbridge, and of course, Scabbers, the rat, and the point is made.

“Conversely, Albus Dumbledore, whose name suggests both humbleness and gold, heads Hogwarts. Hermione Granger, namesake of Hermes, the messenger of the Gods, is one of Harry’s close friends. Other sympathetic characters are John Remus Lupine, a werewolf with the name of Rome’s founder.

“These are names that will elicit images into the twilight of a reader’s time. Mention a Malfoy, Snape, Dumbledore, or Granger and they will connect across the timelines of memory and refresh tired synapses.

Chuck sent out a gleeful, “Ride on! Rough-shod if need be, smooth-shod if that will do, but ride on! Ride on over all obstacles, and win the race.”

Eric gave him a disdainful look. “It seems all names are equal but some are more equal than others.”

Papa, picking up Bram’s thread, said, “Dan Brown, in The Da Vinci Code seems less concerned with naming, as if he pulled them from a dictionary of baby names giving a nod only to nationality. The male protagonist is Robert Langdon and the French female protagonist is Sophie Neveu. Good serviceable names, that evoke no sense of personality. The antagonist is Leigh Teabing, a wealthy, driven, cripple. They are simply tags upon which to hang some characteristics. The names are not memorable, and had not Brown sold three and a half million of the book, it might have been forgotten the day after being read.”

“Yes,” Edgar said, but you miss the point. “You admit the man sold millions without resorting to tricks. It was the plot that did it. You can not refute that fact. He had no need for pretty symbolisms in the names.

“Yeah,” Al said, “there was enough of that in the book.” While we appreciate Al’s comments, his arguments are not often given weight.”

Eric said, “Bravo, Edgar. It is also true that one can write nothing readable unless one constantly struggles to efface one’s own personality. Good prose is like a windowpane.”

Chuck said, “Accidents will occur in the best-regulated families. It could be that the man was in the right place at the right time with the right story.”

“Or,” Mary said, “That the Doubleday’s P.R. department went into overdrive. Rowling, on the other hand, built her readership by word of mouth, kids talking to kids about a good read. The test is, which book will be remembered a generation from now? And, will the naming of the characters keep the book fresh in our minds. Good naming rivets the character to his persona. It provides a hook that capsulates the person for the reader. It is what keeps generations coming back to a Dickens.

Chuck smiled as he always did when praise came his way. “She has produced some delightful pieces, herself, sir. And it would be remiss for me to omit that legions still read her work as well as that of my friend Bram, there. And what have they at their core if not a memorable character with an unforgettable name.”

Eric shook his head. “What can you do against the lunatic who is more intelligent than yourself, who gives your arguments a fair hearing and then simply persists in his lunacy?”

And, as so often the case around this table, so it went, neither side bending, neither side breaking.

Note: Most of Chuck and Eric’s observations are quotes from things they have said or written, seasoned to the taste of this writer.

“Doublethink means the power of holding two contradictory beliefs in one’s mind simultaneously, and accepting both of them.”

George Orwell (Eric Arthur Blair)

frank.writestuff@gmail.com

Saturday, January 13, 2007