Fact or Fiction:
For most of my adult life, I’ve believed in the possibility that Bigfoot exists. I live in Eastern Washington State, where the flow of new sightings and “evidence” is almost constant. I’ve never actually seen the legendary Sasquatch with my own eyes, but after hearing about something so frequently you begin to wonder.
Up until the past few years, I’ve had no hard proof of the existence of the illusive Literary Agent. Even now, after a ton of rejection slips, and actually speaking with three in person, I still have my doubts. I’m not entirely convinced the whole thing isn’t some kind of sham, some twisted worldwide conspiracy. The paranoid delusional part of me insists they are akin to the many and varied people you’re likely to meet over the Internet. They aren’t real, but some strange brand of artificial intelligence created by Bill Gates (yeah, we tend to blame everything on him) and his millionaire cronies to keep the rest of us in submissive dependence to the one eyed digital demons sitting on all of our desktops!
Pretty crazy, huh?
I’ve been assured time and time again that agents do exist, but my skepticism persists. Please remember, I’m from Washington, and most sightings of these rare and fascinating creatures are on the eastern side of the United States, mostly centered in or around New York. Jeez, with all the sightings you’d think there would be something on the evening news!
Why do I even care?
Down here, at the bottom of the literary food chain, the literary agent is one of the most sought after people. More hunted than Lucky the Leprechaun, more beauteous than the singing Siren, more valued than the Philosopher’s Stone, an artifact that is reputed to turn lead into gold (even before Harry Potter made if famous).
Isn’t that what an agent does? Turn literary lead into gold?
If you were to catch one of these mythical beings in the exotic jungles of New York and ask them that question, you’d likely be mauled.
“I’m an agent,” I can imagine one shouting, “not a damn miracle worker!”
Catch 22:
Why do we write, and more to the point, why surrender ourselves to the fruitless routine of submitting and waiting.
The simplest answer would be because we love to do it, but it goes beyond that. At some point in our lives, inspired by a favorite storyteller, we decided to write something of our own, and hot damn, it turned out pretty good! In fact, we are so pleased by our own original creation that we decided to get serious about it.
Hell, maybe I could do this for a living!
This is where the literary agent comes in.
To be a successful, full-time writer you need a wide readership, and for a nationwide readership, you need the big boys and girls of the New York publishing scene behind you. I didn’t know this at first. Even Stephen King didn’t realize he needed one until he was damn near a millionaire.
After a while, my collection of rejection slips grew so numerous they began to swell the sides of my file cabinet, trying their damnedest to bust out like the chest buster scene from Alien. I didn’t quite have enough of the buggers to re-paper my entire house, but it was a close thing.
Then one day, while wading through the spilled piles of those infamous slips in a vain attempt to find my desk, I had an epiphany.
“An agent,” I shouted. “I need an agent!”
Eureka! My very own agent! That’s the ticket! Get an agent, get published, and watch the cash flow in. Sounds simple enough, doesn’t it.
Pretty naïve, huh?
As it turns out, most agents have a fanatic, deep-seeded, total lack of interest in delusional, wet-behind-the-ears amateurs. Hell, can you blame them?
So, I reasoned, to get published, I need an agent, and to get an agent to take me seriously, I need to get something published.
Soon enough the army of agent-spawned rejection slips outnumbered the publishers’ slips. Discouraged, disheartened, ready to throw in the metaphorical towel, I put my typewriter away and gave up writing.
That was over a decade ago.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I Give You The Small Press:
I later discovered the wondrous world of the small press, and being the glutton for punishment that I am, dug up an old story I’d completely given up on and re-submitted it. A few weeks later – POW! - my first acceptance!
“Holy shit,” I said. “Where have these guys been hiding?”
Now, six years later with a halfway decent list of small press credits to my name, things are looking better. I haven’t given up the day job yet though. My writing still doesn’t pay the bills.
My limited small press success has given me a much-needed shot of confidence, but more importantly, it has thickened my skin and given me the opportunity to work on my craft and marketing skills a bit.
I’ve been doing this for a while now, and I’m not even within sight of my ultimate goal, but I am closer.
Still trying to impress the big bugs in New York, and still trying to find The Illusive Literary Agent.
Brian Knight
4 Comments, Comment or Ping
David Niall Wilson
Brian…chin up (lol) I’ve had five agents. I’ve sold 12 novels. In all the time I’ve been writing, an agent (recently) sold Italian rights to one of my novels, but I sold the others myself…it can be done, and if you hold out long enough, you’ll find that illusive agent as well…It took me a long time to find the right fit. Heck, maybe I should have BEEN an agent…
D
May 23rd, 2006
Rick Steinberg
Brian, I was rejected by a dozen publishers and another dozen agents before I signed on with Bob Thixton & Dick Duane at Pinder Lane. Five weeks later, I had my first hard/soft deal with Doubleday and Bantam.
I was lucky . . . not only in the A-list success that they brought to me, but also in the deep friendship that we’ve come to share. We’ve been together for ten years now, and because of their skills I’ve had a modicum of commercial success. But even more importantly, their ability to guide me in improving my writing (and thereby myself) has been a God send. To say nothing of them being able to network me with the right other agents.
I sold my first two novels on my own, and saw some success through that as well. But it was MUCH HARDER work!
To date, I have 6 agents (in different fields) adding #6 today, as a matter of fact. Some are close friends some merely business associates, but they all do the same thing for me, let me just think about the writing.
And that’s a blessing.
May 23rd, 2006
Janet Berliner
Closer is a good thing.
–Janet
May 24th, 2006
Reply to “The Illusive Literary Agent - Fact or Fiction?”