Blogs.
Everyone does them these days, it seems. Damn, where do they find the time? And why do they do them? I for one don’t have the time to consistently keep an online diary of my thoughts, my ‘whatevers’, my exploits. Sure, it’d be fun. And it might feel good to vent every now and then to whomever wants in on my issues. Might even help my writing career some, too. Sure does for guys like Keene and Braunbeck and Mamatas, whose blogs and rants I read regularly for their entertainment value…and wouldn’t you know it, I buy their books too–those blogs/rants remind me that I need to.
Going back…I’ve got no time to blog. I work a full time job in Manhattan, which I take Long Island Rail Road to every day. Takes me an hour to get there, and that’s where I get most of my writing done. To and from work. Two hours a day. There are days when I look at my fellow passengers and envy their naps, or their hour alone with a good book. And then there are days when I have a headache, or feel nauseous because I ate the wrong food the night before. Irregardless of how I’m feeling, this is my writing time, and I do it. I also try to sneak away from the family on the weekends for a few hours to get some more writing in. But I don’t accomplish this without my wife making a snotty face or my daughter screaming to come with me. Oh, and then my job itself (where I’m writing this now—don’t tell my boss). That takes a lot out of me. Been selling swimwear in NY’s garment center for sixteen years. And it’s a grind, let me tell you. I work on commissions, so if business is bad, I don’t make as much money as I need to pay the bills. So, my wife has to work, and hence, my kids spend most of their days with a sitter (that runs me $1400 a month). We work our asses off to make ends meet.
And then…heck, what about the other things I like to do? Like read. Or play computer games. Work out. Run. Watch a good movie. Surf the web. I try to do a little of all of these things, at least once every week. Then, of course, there’s my share of the housework: laundry, making meals, fixing things, yard work, taking care of the kids.
So, I ask you: when the *&^% am I to find time to blog?
Well, I guess I can do it in the middle of the night…set aside a few moments, say from 2:00—2:30 am. Or, I can just do it at work when things slow down, like now (shh…don’t tell my boss). Okay…so, assuming I find the time to blog—and I’m being hypothetical here–I then have to ask myself: does anyone really care what I have to say? Why should I devote some of my precious time talking about myself? My stuff. About how little time I have in life to do the things I want to do. I mean, really, who gives a sh*%? Well, I do suppose, therapeutically, it might feel good to vent about something…like…like…well, how about that damn reader—and I’m being hypothetical here–who didn’t enjoy my latest book THE DEMONOLOGIST, and has decided to let the world know how AWFUL! the book is (I’m not talking an opinionated “I think it’s awful” statement, but more a self-stroking “I am all-knowing and I’m telling you that this book is AWFUL!” two cents) by posting a review on Amazon.com? Okay (I’ll call this person DR, “Damn Reader” to protect the guilty), I have to ask you: WHY? Why do you feel the need to blast my book to the world? Are you pissed at me that I made you waste your money by writing such an AWFUL! book? Are you pissed at the publisher for publishing such an AWFUL! book? Just so you know, DR, I spent nearly every possible free moment over the last year writing that book. Yep, those moments added up to a year of my life, sweating through the headaches and the nausea and the co-commuter envy, trying my damnedness to put out the very best horror novel I could. And all you can shout is AWFUL? What if I didn’t have a real job? What if I supported my wife and kids writing these AWFUL! books? What if—and I’m being hypothetical here–but what if because you felt the book was AWFUL! and needed to share it with the world, you convinced a few hundred people that their lives would be much better off not purchasing this book, hence putting a few cents in my pocket, and in turn, my publisher’s pocket? That’s the equivalent of me being dissatisfied with the service of a certain waitress—let’s call her DW–in a restaurant, and consequently standing outside that same establishment with a sign shouting DW’s SERVICE IS AWFUL! SIT AT ANOTHER TABLE. In retrospect, I’m doing the same thing you’re doing, DR. Taking money out of a hard-working individual’s pocket. I’m telling patrons to avoid this certain waitress, and sit at another’s table. You’re telling readers to avoid my book, and buy another Leisure book instead. It’s kinda like the same thing, no?
Well, you know what, DR? I had a damn good time writing that book. That you can never change. And just so you know, many other readers are enjoying the hell out of it. That you can’t change either. So you can take your AWFUL! to the local restaurant and bitch about the service instead. Bet your ass you won’t accomplish anything by doing that. And you know what? You’ve accomplished nothing about your AWFUL! complaints about my book, except embarrass yourself.
Yeah, I guess if I had time to blog, I could vent about something like that. 
Michael Laimo
20 Comments, Comment or Ping
Nick Kaufmann
Amazon reviews are often notorious for their idiocy. Don’t let it get you down. No one pays attention to them anyway.
I have to disagree that telling people a book stinks is the equivalent of “taking money out of a hard-working individual’s pocket,” though. No reader is obligated to keep food on a writer’s table.
Jun 22nd, 2005
Anonymous
jesus christ, stop your whining. that reviewer certainly accomplished enough to get you to whine about them publicly. gads.
Jun 22nd, 2005
Nick Kaufmann
Hey, anonymous, maybe you should grow a pair and use your name when you write comments.
Jun 22nd, 2005
Lee Thomas
Michael. It sounds like you’re in a frustrated place right now. I’m sorry to hear it.
With that noted, I have to agree with Nick. Yes, Amazon reviews are often silly, meaningless and sometimes just plain nasty, but you take the good with the bad.
As for blogs… shrug. I have one. I don’t expect people to read it or care. Every now and then it’s a nice place to put down my thoughts or trumpet an accomplishment.
I think your comments above would be perfectly suited to a personal blog, but I’m not sure about a forum such as this.
Anyway, thanks for sharing.
Jun 22nd, 2005
Rob
For what it’s worth, your blog made me want to check out your books.
Jun 22nd, 2005
Daivd Niall Wilson
Write faster (lol). I guess that’s what I learned to do. Got a 60 mile commute, but I don’t get to take a train, have to drive, so no writing. Job, back home, eBay job, then write a little and play with the baby in between.
I find that the journal I keep over at Livejournal.com is more theapeutic than anything else. Something will bug me on the way to work, or get caught in my head as I work, or will happen and need to be shared…I put it in there…it’s such a habit now I’d be irritated if I didn’t have it, I think…
On reviews … well … it’s all been said. That one sounds like it might have been personal, but readers aren’t idiots, and they can read between the lines of what they see on Amazon. As long as you get good and bad reviews, you know a variety of readers have experienced the book.
Can’t say I see where the bad review is like shouting about a bad waitress. If I get bad service in a restaurant, and it can’t be resolved, I certainly have no trouble taking it to the management. If I get a book for review and am expected to review it whether I like it or not (as is the case in my reviews for Cemetery Dance) I say what I think is the truth. I wouldn’t say a book was awful without backing it up - that’s a difference - but then, the Amazon reviewers aren’t paid to do reviews…
At least you got HIS quarter (or whatever the royalty per book comes to.)
Jun 22nd, 2005
Mike
Thank you everyone, and thank you Dave for the great post. I pride myself in being nice to others, and even if I thought a book was awful, I’d either not say anything, or simply say ‘good job’ and move on. I’m not for hurting the feelings of others.
That ‘review’ wasn’t a review. There was nothing constructive about it, and please know that this book has received its fair share of criticisms, which in turn have made me consider how I should go about writing my next book. They have been helpful!
It just amazes me how people can be mean! Yeah, I’m a sensitive guy, both on a personal level and an emotional one, something I’m not ashamed of at all. And anonymous, I’m not whining. I’m just telling it like it is, as I see it. Just as everyone has and will do here.
Michael
Jun 22nd, 2005
Mark Leslie
Michael - enjoyed your rant about blogs. Personally, I find keeping a blog has replaced my old personal writing journal, you know, the one you write to just to ensure you keep writing something, anything as often as possible.
Given the competition that the day job offers with writing time, sometimes that 5 minutes per day to do journal writing/or update your blog is the only time you can get to stay in practice.
I’ve personally found it actually helping me stay in a “writing mode” and have been producing more actual fiction because of it. And if the online journal means one or two more people out there discover you as a writer, or check out your books, then all the better. (Of course, since this storytellersunplugged blog is so damn interesting, it’s yet another distraction keeping me from my own writing…..)
Jun 22nd, 2005
DNW
YOu know it, Mike. Constructive reviews are vital. God, half the time (despite thousands being sold) the reviews are the only indication I ever get that anyone READ my novels…so the only way I can improve is if I send out more review copies (lol).
I also agree that mean, for mean’s sake, is pointless, but those are the ones you shrug off. Everyone knows when there’s no substance to something…and when the person says GO BUY THIS INSTEAD, then you start to seen an agenda…
DNW
Jun 22nd, 2005
Monty Grue
A good lambasting of a novel or movie by a talented writer is a joy to read. Stephen Hunter of the Washington Post can rip a movie a new one like no one else; I’ll read his reviews of rotten movies, but don’t really care for his positive opinions. Such talent, though, is unlikely to show itself on Amazon.com, but critics manqué will express themselves in whatever venue is open to them. In many cases I believe they’re telling more about themselves than the books they review.
Jun 22nd, 2005
Mark Rainey
I’ve never had much interest in blogging, either as reader or writer. Writing time is at such a premium each day that I rarely devote much time to posting stuff online; I already spend too much time on message boards as it is, and I try not to get involved in lengthy discussions that are going to eat up more time.
Every now and then, I’m sure a good online vent is healthy, but I have a tendency to jump the gun when I vent — say something I don’t really mean, or mean it but put it badly, and it turns out to be not-so-productive after all. I’m generally better off putting that energy into my fiction.
On the other hand, every post here has been informative and/or entertaining, and if I’m not careful, I might end up checking out more blogs than I ought to. So cut with the useful shit already.
Jun 22nd, 2005
Daivd Niall Wilson
HAH! MARK! This from the man who has logged so many countless hours “flying” on Internet flight simulators that he drives by airports in the real world and recognizes them fron on-line! (grin)
It had to be said…
DNW
Jun 22nd, 2005
EvYL Ed
Heh heh. Gotta love those Amazon reviewers. Personally I’m looking forward to checking out your book. It’s in my to read stack on my desk.
Jun 22nd, 2005
Justine Musk
Ah, blogging.
The perfect procrastination.
You can do it instead of actually working on your novel, yet still leave your desk with a healthy (?)sense of accomplishment.
Jun 22nd, 2005
Mark Rainey
Dave — Research, my boy, all research.
Remember, I was paid for three years to be head flight sim game op on AOL. >G<
Jun 22nd, 2005
Some guy
So people aren’t supposed to write negative reviews at Amazon? I don’t get it.
“I loved this book, so I’ll go write a review at Amazon. But I hated this other book, so I shouldn’t write a review.”
If someone’s in the habit of reviewing the books they read, they should only review the good books and not the bad? Isn’t the whole purpose of writing the review to put your opinion out there? And how in the world is writing a negative review embarrassing for the reviewer?
Sure, some people act like they know everything, but you can’t write “I think” in every sentence.
“I think” you’re acting like an idiot.
Jun 30th, 2005
Mike
Some guy,
Negative reviews are more than welcome, when being constructive. To lambast a book with simplistic closemindedness is frustrating, especially when a new writer is working so hard to make ends meet. And for the record, your opinion that I have acted like an idiot is simply that: an opinion. Those who know me will tell you that I take my craft–and my friendships–quite seriously, and with heart. As you say: those that do not like books should be able to express their reasons. And, as you ahve expressed your opinion of my behavior, I too am entitled to express my opinion of one’s reaction to my work as well.
And, quite obviously, I am not afraid to attach my name to any opinion I may foster, negative or positive.
“I think” I’ve made my point.
Jul 7th, 2005
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