By David Niall Wilson
One of the oddest sensations I have experienced as a writer is discovering a passage in one of my novels, or a short story that’s been sitting around for a very long time, and discovering it for the first time. That seems unlikely, I know, but it’s something that happens on occasion, and it can be an eye-opening experience.
What I’m describing, for me, is a sort of dislocation, where I find something I wrote a long time ago, in a lifetime far away, that has lost it’s direct connection to my brain. That’s the only explanation that makes sense to me. I find a file, for instance, on my hard drive, for a story I vaguely remember writing, and open it. I sit, enthralled, reading it from end to end, and I can’t for the life of me remember writing it. I can’t remember where the words came from, what was connecting inside when I structured sentences – it’s eerie, fascinating, and more than once it has steered me back onto a proper track.
This happened recently with the novel that I’m currently working on, and the experience set off some alarm bells in my head - like that sharp slap to the cheek you see the hero get now and then in a movie. The one that brings him back to reality and points out obvious facts he should have been aware of all along. Over this summer I’ve been in a writing funk like I’ve never seen. The events of the past few months have altered a great number of things in my life that I previously considered stable, and my writing has not fully settled into the new world I inhabit. It’s like a dog, circling a soft pillow bed a hundred times to try and find that one little crease that tells it where to finally settle in and get comfortable for the long haul.
Back to the point. I’m writing a novel titled “The Orffyreus Wheel,” which is being serialized on Amazon.com. At first, I found this to be very liberating. The segments being published are about three chapters apiece, between seven thousand and ten thousand words each, and they run for a month or more before the next segment comes due. I finished my basic outline long ago for an agent I no longer work with, and I had written the first few chapters as a partial, so I started out with a safety cushion. Over the next few months (most of 2006) I cranked out the sections, keeping one ahead of the deadline at all times, which gave me a couple of months for a safety net.
The problem is that this has led to some disjointed creative processes. Breaking off on one project, going to others, then coming back for three chapters and moving on proved to be a bigger challenge than I thought it would be. Passions shifted, other projects took over my mind…but still, I was handling it pretty well.
Then came June. I won’t go into the big sob story about losing my job and the summer of stumps – all of that has been chronicled over at The Deep Blue Journal and really, it’s pretty much behind me now (the bad time). The problem is, there was a serious disconnect on the novel during the summer. I still wrote a page or two here and there. I managed to finish part VI and get it turned in, and I’m nearly done with part VII, but here’s what happened.
I opened the file to read it the other night – the last chapter I wrote, plenty of action scenes – fast paced stuff writes quickly for me. I read it, and I really, really enjoyed it. This actually caused physical shock. Part of the depression I’ve had over the last month or so has been associated with this book – with the dislocated way I’ve been writing it, and the lack of passion I felt for what I was doing. This was apparently so prevalent that I literally put it out of my head and wrote on auto-pilot. The writing is good – it’s solid – and after reading it, I found that I had gotten my enthusiasm back. It’s weird, because now it’s like I’m collaborating with some other guy – the guy who wrote that chapter while my brain was away on vacation. It should frighten me, I suppose, but hey – I’ve always been good at collaboration.
The day after I read that chapter I was working on something else…and had an epiphany. The ending, which has eluded me – the way to tie the past segments and present day segments together – fell into place in my mind and winked at me. It was a magical moment, and I have that guy to thank for it – that guy who writes pretty well even when abandoned by his mind, his gut, and his imagination. I remember him from some of my White Wolf novel writing, when the last thing in the world I wanted to do was finish those books, and he did them for me. It’s good to know he’s still around.
Now and then I find things he’s written in the past – words I don’t recognize, but get the honor of being proud of anyway…it’s nice to have an invisible friend who likes the same things.
Yesterday, found that all of the effort hasn’t been wasted. Apparently, “The Orffyreus Wheel” is the number one serialized novel in the Amazon program for the year 2006. In the serials section of the best-seller list at Amazon it’s holding positions 2-7. Not bad for a novel written largely in different times and existences, strung together by magic and collaborated on with some guy I rarely meet.
If you are interested, you can find the book at This link – Part One
I’ll be turning in part VII soon, and writing the conclusion, which I believe will be one of the tightest endings I’ve ever come up with. If you see that guy running around who looks like me, and writes through fire…thank him for me. I hope I don’t need him again, but I’m glad he’s there.
ONWARD!
DNW
12 Comments, Comment or Ping
Janet Berliner
I’m glad he’s there, too, Dave. I’ve said all along that this novel is going to surprise you. It’s a clever concept, well executed–by someone.
Hope it makes you rich and famous.
Janet
Oct 1st, 2006
Phoenix
I know what you mean about getting disconnected and having a bad summer. My ex left me ten days before my wedding… timing huh. Could have been worse, could have been after the wedding. Anyway between that and a move and a new job and a new schedule/new life it took a while for my writing to settle back into my life. I kind of had to force myself into it. But I’m glad I did. I’ve very excited about a couple of projects I’m working on.
It kind of seesm like it’s been a tough summer for a lot of people I’ve talked to a number of people who have had bad times this last summer. Not to mention the lack of rain in the front range. That’s been tough too.
Didn’t know about the Amazon shorts. I’ll have to keep those in mind in the future and good luck with the ending. I’m sure it will be fantastic.
Thanks for sharing.
Julie
Oct 1st, 2006
David Niall Wilson
I think one of the problems with the Amazon Shorts program is that people don’t know it’s there. They’ve made a couple of short attempts to promote it themselves, but I don’t know if people take it seriously. We have no good indicator yet how the numbers eally are, but should soon.
At least (as far as the program goes) I seem to be a success. My novelette ENNUIE was one of the top tenof 2005 and now the novel seems to be doing well in 2006…well being a relative term.
Sorry to hear about the wedding / non-wedding…and yeah, it’s been a rough summmer for a lot of folks. I’m happy to say I got through it … and even the STUMPS didn’t win…more on that in my journal.
D
Oct 1st, 2006
Sully
All those hardships are a tough way to disassociate yourself enough to gain perspective, Davie, but “all’s well that ends well.” You are probably the only one who doubted you. Either one of you.
Somewhere in our lengthy email correspondence I know I’ve lamented there being too few times when I could get far enough away from my work to read it objectively. Savor the fresh take. You now see yourself as those who know you do.
– Sully (Thomas Sullivan)
Oct 1st, 2006
David Niall Wilson
Thanks Sully…and really, this isn’t lamenting, just looking back after the fact and being … bemused … by the situation.
Dave
Oct 1st, 2006
Frank Wydra
Hey Dave, you’re in good company when it comes to blanking on a story. At one time I was corresponding with James Michener and happened to mention a character in one of his past books that resonated with me–a codger who worked all his life to be able to see the world after retirement, then died at the moment of realization. Michener couldn’t remember the character and had to look him up, writing back that his characters tend to go off on their own once he puts them to bed.
I’m with Sully when he says the really great part of this amnesia is that you get to see yourself as others see you. And then liking the work, how much better could that be?
Frank
Oct 1st, 2006
Teresa
You can add me to the crappy summer list. Bankruptcy.
I’m aware of the Amazon shorts program, but to be honest I’m holding out for the ‘real’ book. I don’t know of course if real books will ever appear but if they do I don’t want to feel as if I’m paying twice for the same material. Moot point since the start of August because with no credit it’s kinda hard to pay for stuff online… but this too shall pass.
As for that stranger who did some writing for you Dave, I expect it may have been your muse. I think they live in us and show us what we can do when we are convinced we don’t have stories to tell.
I always say to people ‘I don’t have stories in me.’ And I don’t, not active, noisy in your face characters or plots that ‘writers’ seem always to be plagued with and compelled to exorcise to screens or legal pads.
Yet last year ‘I’ ended up finding about 17,000 clumsy, wandering words inspired by the words ‘ice water in her veins’ a phrase I found here
href=’http://www.creativewritingprompts.com/
It was a story with a beginning a middle and an end (and a lot of extraneous stuff) but it got completed and I was gob smacked that something in me had found all those people, places and events.
Because of a character that appeared in that (and really didn’t belong there) I wrote about 15,000 rambling poorly focused words for another story; one that’s in suspended animation because my instinct tells me I’m on to something that could be good, maybe very good But I’m SO not ready for it yet.
My point is I had no conscious ideas or plans or outlines or whatever in either case; (Well…a phrase in the first and a character and location in the other.) I just opened a Word document set my mind on
‘?idle?’ (for want of a better word) and typed what came out.
I think ‘finding your muse’ is simply a matter of letting your mind go and look for it, whether we ever actually get to meet it or not. Your muse just took over and let you rest for a while Dave!
Oct 1st, 2006
John B. Rosenman
Davy, when the hell are you going to pay me for that chapter you asked me to write? You know, the one you were stumped on. I suppose now you’re gonna say you don’t remember any of it.
Seriously, this is a fascinating blog. Fascinating that you have this other bloke inside you who can look at what you’ve written with a fresh, appreciative eye. I wish I could do that. Well, I can, but I have to wait at least five or ten years after I’ve written something.
Oct 1st, 2006
David Niall Wilson
Heh… I wish I could do it on purpose, John, but it only happens on rare occasions, and it’s a little bit jarring, to be honest — like some pages fell through from an alternate universe where I was a little further along on my novel than I am in this one…
I still enjoy telling everyone how I based my Star Trek novel on your wonderful story - “No Dominion.”
D
Oct 1st, 2006
John Skipp
Dear Dave –
That guy writes almost ALL of my stuff!
Wish I could say more about it, but he’s busy using my body to write this new book…
GREAT ESSAY!
Yer pal,
Skipp
Oct 1st, 2006
Mark Rainey
I’ve often wished I could blank more frequently. I’m sure it would help my output. Every now and then, I look at something old and think, yeah, that’s okay, but the memory of it all usually comes rushing back more clearly than I’d prefer — even if, without the story in front of me, I can barely remember ever having written it.
Your guy, I worry about him.
–M
Oct 3rd, 2006
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